All About Eva

TEXT MESSAGE: HEY JENNY, I’M WRITING CHAPTER TWO OF THE NOT VOGUE NOVEL SO I CAN’T SHOP TODAY. I’M SO SORRY AND ALSO THAT I MISSED YOUR BRO’S CMJ CONCERT YESTERDAY. I’M SURE HE WAS BRILLIANT. WILL CALL YOU LATER; TAKE CARE OF SOPHIA FOR ME – BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO HER AT MARC JACOBS! XXXOOO EVA.

POSSIBLE TRANSLATIONS OF THE TEXT MESSAGE:

  1. Eva is honestly so swept up in her novel writing that she can’t leave her apartment until she’s gotten everything out on paper. I heard from my friend at USC that the head writer on Grey’s Anatomy does the same thing only with Erth Cafe deliveries every 3 hours.
  2. Eva’s dad secretly cut off her black card and she doesn’t want to watch Sophia buy whatever Karen-Elson-wore-it-in-the-ad outfit that she’ll buy for like five thousand dollars in like three seconds.
  3. She knew we were going to Dylan’s Candy Bar and didn’t want to risk the temptation of Hello Kitty Pez (see the photo, we bought like ten of them)
  4.  Even though she says it’s okay, Eva is secretly furious at me for wearing the same cocktail dress as her during vacation, mad at me for meeting Sebastian on vacation, mad at me for hanging out 24/7 with Sebastian on vacation, mad at me for getting better tanlines than her on vacation, and especially mad that it’s all going to be on TV…

Oh god I really hope it’s not 3…  once in 10th grade, Eva was mad at me, and she called all of Sophia’s personal shoppers? And told them that I had lice and would spread it on the clothes. She told the whole school too, but the shopping part was worse – I had to trek to Soho just to get some cashmere!  She really can’t be mad at me, I am not getting banned from Bergdorf’s again…

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One Response to “All About Eva”

  1. You're So Jane Says:

    I can sympathize, once my best friend from college and I had a fight. She worked at our campus Starbucks and I had to make my own frappucino’s in the dorm sink for a week. So not okay.

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